Sage: Which of These Top 5 Deathbed Regrets Will You Have?

A nurse in palliative care recently wrote an article on the top five regrets she hears repeatedly by those in their last days of life on this earth.  Read the full article here before you read on...

While I sympathize with many people who may have these regrets, I also secretly want to kick their asses for being such spiritual bumpkins and wasting their one precious life! But, as they are already on their way out of here, and I have no idea what kind of life they may have had to pass any judgement upon them anyway, I will instead kick your ass and get you thinking about your life NOW! 

Image by artist Natalie Shau

Let's look at these regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Who is holding you back? No one but yourself. Free yourself of the guilt for not becoming the lawyer or doctor your parents wanted you to become and run away to join the circus if flying on the trapeze is really what your heart desires. I believe we are given our unique passions in order to guide us to what we are meant to do on this earth. When we make the right decisions there is no more conflict in our hearts. It feels right, deep down. Don't neglect your interests or think  other things that bore your to tears are somehow more important, they aren't. Spiritual growth is the only thing in this life that is truly important. 

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Work to live, do not live to work. Consumerism drives many societies to overwork--Japan, the U.S., Australia. Live below your means and you won't feel the yolk of your job quite as much. 

My parents were both workaholics who had almost no social life. My older sister and I both vowed to be different from them, and so we both have a healthy social life. I sometimes work to the detriment of being with friends because I love what I do so much, but I feel I work hard in phases that swing back and forth, so the balance is still there. 

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I like that in the article the writer addresses the fact that many illnesses are caused by suppressed emotions. If you have suffered a trauma or have a lot of deep anger issues, I think it is vital to get therapy or to come to terms with it in a healthy way, otherwise those issues will gnaw and gnaw at your insides until you literally develop an illness. 

For me, expressing myself was always an obstacle due to extreme shyness growing up. I worked hard to overcome it and am now extremely honest and expressive with myself and others. I have no patience for gossip, which I find is always a break down in communication because someone is too afraid to speak up to someone directly. I've killed the inner demons that made me fearful, and so can you. 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

With Facebook and Skype these days, do we really have any excuse not to? I think we are a very lucky generation to be in the Age of Communication, and many of us will probably not have this regret when we die. Still, there are those billy goats we love but who won't get on Facebook for some fear of the CIA, or whatever. Write them a letter then stay in touch the snail mail way. You don't want to find out a beloved friend died 7 years ago when you try to look them up, which is what happened to me once. :(

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I feel sorry for people who do not realize they have the power of their own perspective. Because that is all that happiness is about--a happier perspective. Not a place or a sudden windfall of money or getting Mr. Right or anything external like that. It is simply a choice to see things in a certain way, and make the most with what you have, being grateful for little things like sunshine and kittens and the ability to walk or read well. Yes, really! That's where I think it starts; little things. I think of my dad here; he is definitely going to have this regret on his deathbed. He is what you call "permanently under a rain cloud", and nothing can make him happy because he chooses unhappiness again and again, always endlessly bitching about something or other. Don't be like my dad. Choose happiness! Bitch less, smile more!

Which of these regrets will you have if you do not change some things now?